Cleaning The Closets Of Your Mind

It seems that no matter how much we work on ourselves, there is more stuff to deal with. When a family moves after living in the same home for many years, and all the closets and junk drawers have been emptied, the thought is often spoken with some amazement, “I didn’t realize we had all this stuff!”

When you’ve been to confession, gone to meditation retreats, worked the 12 steps, gotten your psychotherapy, and you’ve exposed your issues at growth workshops, and worked hard on your personal development year after year, you might think you’ve given up your psychological garbage. But think again. You’ve still got stuff.

If you’ve done all this work on yourself, you may find that you have less emotional baggage to deal with, and maybe you know what to do with it now, but it is a rare person who can give it all up. An interesting thing about life is, if you stay involved with it, it will show you where you still need work. You could isolate yourself and pray and meditate and have blissful experiences of unity and attunement and think that finally you have arrived, and then you might go home to deal with some family issue, and it would become clear that, nope, there is much more to do. The closets of your psyche still hold fears and attachments long unused, but still in their original packaging.

Reincarnation theories usually suggest that if you don’t deal with your karmic refuse this trip, you will come back to deal with it later. Those theories also give some high estimates of how many lifetimes it may take before you are ready to pass to the next level of existence. When some sage says it is going to take 100,000 lifetimes to release us from the bonds of karma, most of us are probably hoping we can get in the express lane. How many lifetimes might it take to work through that impatience?

The point of telling us that we have an incredible number of lifetimes to work through our stuff is probably to help us have patience, to just deal with what we have before us without deluding ourselves that we are just short of the finish line.

Each stage of human life holds its unique challenges. If you get through your teens, you get to deal with the issues of young adulthood. You get that figured out and you must handle middle and old age with their special trials. Most likely though, as you enter late middle age, you are still working on cleaning up debris left over from childhood. Just as housework and gardening are never really done, our work on ourselves continues. Each day we deal with new challenges, and maybe we clean up some old messes. If we are attentive to the process, we can be working on the deeper layers. We can clean out the closets of our psyche and we may find things to get rid of, but we may also find treasures under a coating of dust.

Practice:

Sitting meditation is, in a way, practice for life. You sit, in part, to learn about your mind and how to tame it. It is like practice in sports, it is not the whole game. Once you get up from the cushion, you still need to deal with life—emotions, activities, and relationships.

When you find yourself presented with painful reminders of your continuing frailty and fallibility, don’t berate yourself or flee from the awareness of your personal messed-upness. Accept your weakness as an opportunity to learn more about your psyche and to practice the skills of awareness, non-attachment and equanimity.

As you sense the emotional pain of your personal problems, breathe in the strength to endure and perhaps overcome them. Breathe out the fear, the anger, the self-criticism.

Remind yourself that the karmic wheel is ever turning. Life goes on. All things will pass, and if you don’t want to keep managing this type of problem, you might just as well handle it effectively this time.

Step out of your emotional mind for a while and see the whole picture from your bigger wiser mind. What part of this trouble is about your own craving or attachment? Who, besides yourself, is in need of compassion here?

Ask yourself, “Is there a way to make this a win-win situation? Can I handle this without causing further harm to myself or someone else?”

When you are caught in emotional entanglements, practice sitting with an open mind. Let the emotional dust settle and as you breathe calmly, see if a more wholesome approach to your problem presents itself.

Pray for emotional wisdom.



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